Bathing with Bladud

The sun beat down on the mostly economically viable patrons of Bath - and is if to prove that some things at least are equal - it beat down on us too. This was a hot, simmering June afternoon that found the City Centre bustling to the brink with tourists from England, Europe and beyond.

'Hi Alf' I smiled. Offering the scrawny punk a cigarette from the packet in my hand.

'My name's not Alf.' He mumbled. Which seemed silly to me. As there in big letters, scrawled across the back of his leather jacket, lying beneath the word 'Exploited' was the name 'ALF'. But who was I to argue. 'I'm Rats' he said, taking a cigarette with dirty lean fingers.

He had a needle spiked, dirty blond Mohican and a thin twisted face with an abnormally long bent nose. I had not seen him around before. I would have remembered that face. He offered me a swig of his beer, by way of recompense and, as it always was back then - a new friendship was sealed. Rats, so it would seem, was down from London. He knew Merlin and Punky Shane so we already had a bond and he told me about his exploits as an animal rights activist. ALF was an acronym for the Animal Liberation Front and I was fascinated by his stories. Within an hour of meeting him I was a committed vegan again, although I momentarily regretted this when I realised that I could no longer eat those wonderful little chocolate truffles that I used to beg money for in the afternoons. C'est la vie. We shared a few more beers and took deep pleasure in the unexpected heat wave. This is England after all. Dean and Merlin joined us early evening and I begged some money for us all to get some chips for dinner. Chips, thankfully, were vegan.

I was sat on the bench counting the coins received into one pound piles, when a sudden and unexpected move on behalf of Merlin, sent the money cascading to the ground. We all scurried to retrieve it but I watched in abstract misery as two 50p coins rolled towards the metal grill of a drain just down the hill from us. I ran to catch them but unfortunately threw myself onto the burning metal grill just as they began their descent.

This was not a drain at all.

"What's down there?' I said to Merlin. The magic man knew all that there was to know about Bath.
'Our fucking dinner?' He complained woefully.

I stared hard. Bent my face closer so my cheeks pressed against the bars and looked from side to side.

'Its a passage way, not a drain.' I said 'Where does it lead?' There was a drop of about twelve feet to a dusty wide passage that headed in two directions from the grate. I sat up and pulled at the grate with my fingers. It lifted slightly. 'It's not locked!' I cried.

'Its the Roman City.' said Merlin 'You know, the tunnels where they dug up the remains. The Georgian City was built on top of the Roman one.'

I remembered a similar grate nearer the Abbey and hurried towards it, pushing past the sweating tourists with disregard. Merlin was hot on my heels. Another view of the passage from this grate, but this one was sealed shut. It headed off in the direction of North Parade and the famous Sally Lunn's Tea Shop.

Nothing there though.

'Look' said Merlin, pointing at some steps that led down to the basement level of a building nearby 'Lets try there.' Even in the heat you could smell the damp from the cold stone walls of these tunnels. Three arches, blocked off by metal bars, revealed a passage at their rear, heading back towards the Abbey.

'What if there's more of this.' I wondered aloud 'We could have somewhere to live.'

All we had to do was wait.


We waited for the air to cool and the last of the merry people to disperse from the pubs and find their way home. We all sat watching the grate, a motley crew of modern day filth bandits, wondering what this next adventure might bring.

'It's quiet enough now.' Said Dean, but as soon as he spoke the sound of laughter and clicking heels came towards us and we were forced to wait a while longer.

When silence once again washed the streets, Merlin darted towards the grate and swiftly lifted it, just enough to throw down the sleeping bag. The next round of silence saw Rats and me do the same. We planned for the sleeping bags to break our fall.

'I'm first' Said Rats. And quick as the words were spoken he disappeared down the open hole. We all rushed to check he was OK and looked down to see his smiling face. "Dive in,' he called 'It's easy'. One by one we disappeared, leaving only Blackum to close the grate and to wait for news. Dean even dropped his Alsatian dog down the hole before him. 'What?' He had protested against Rats stares 'I ain't going anywhere without him'

Rats and Merlin switched on the torches.

The passage that led downwards from here looked more modern and recent. Quick discussion revealed that we were all more interested in the dark and cave like passage that led towards the top of town. Rats headed the group with me following with a hand on his shoulder. Merlin and Dean took up the rear. The passage floor soon broke open to reveal a large pipe, the sewers most probably and the terrain became a little more difficult to navigate. When the passage turned right we were faced with an opening, a doorway of sorts and it found us with the light of only one torch. Rats shone the torch through the hole and we caught glimpse of a vast open space.

Is that lights?' Rat's exclaimed pointing the torch beam up to the cavern roof. 'Maybe there's a switch?' We all laughed as Rats groped around to the side of the door but were stunned to silence as the strip lights flicked on one by one. He turned the torch off.

Down here the world was different. Ancient and organic, the earthy floor beneath and the uncatalogued excavations made like we were stumbling upon an old Egyptian tomb. To the left of the 'cavern' stone coffins lay open and empty. Tools were scattered around reminding of the recent presence of people and artifact's and history were everywhere. It was with awe that we stepped down into this room of remains.

'I bet this stuff is worth a fortune!' Merlin looked around him 'There could be rooms of this stuff.' We wandered through this space excited, touching everything, feeling the adrenaline that comes with the unexpected and the unknown. To the rear of this room we found a partially excavated Roman Bath. About 20ft square and filled with muddy brackish water, fitting into the space against the wall. Behind this bath was a door. We figured that we could get access to the door by pressing our backs against the earthen walls and shuffling along the bank carefully. I did not want to end up in that water. Visions of the scene in the movie Poltergeist plagued me. I imagined falling into this swamp of a pool and ancient corpses swilling around my drowning body. I took a deep breath and Merlin's hand before stepping onto the ledge. Rats reached the door first and I think we all felt an enormous sense of relief when it swung open and we saw him jump through it. Dean and his dog Ally came last with the dog being the only one that almost ended up in the deep.

This new corridor split two ways. To the right where it continued into the distance, and for a short way to the left where it ended in a set of double doors. I turned back to face the doors just in time to see Rats lift the bar and push them both open with ease. I gasped with fucking awe.

Twinkling in the light of his torch was the water of a Museum spa. Ally began to bark and Dean struggled to quieten her. Rats took a step inside the museum and shone his torch around, settling finally back onto the ancient spa waters. 'Will you get a fucking look at this!' One by one we filed to his side and stared down where the beam of his torchlight settled. 'Have you ever seen anything like it? We are like, so rich right now!

Merlin spoke next 'Hey, this has to be our secret. We can come down here every night and get some more but we must be careful not to take too much and not to tell anyone else. The more people that know about this - the more fucked up this will get.'

I had to agree.

This time I was first. I placed a bare foot onto the top stone step and felt the film of slime that coated it. 'Be careful,' I warned 'its really fucking slippery and its cold.' The next three steps found the freezing water up to my mid thigh. This was not going to be as easy as it looked but I reached down and picked up the first silver coin that I could reach.

'Should we go in there?' Questioned Dean. 'That fucking girl died in here after swallowing the water, remember.' He tied Ally's lead to a wooden post nearby.

'You pussy!' shouted Merlin as he unlaced his Doc Martins and joined me. 'Come on in!'

'I'm being fucking serious. You can die touching that shit. I ain't going in there. ' Dean backed away from the water's edge a little as if even proximity was dangerous. The rest of us however were not deterred. Getting the money from the wishing pool was harder than it appeared at first. For starters a large proportion of it was not English currency and most of it was hard to reach. It twinkled before us though, tempting us further and further into the tainted green depths.

I stuffed the coins into the pocket of my skirt and took a deep breath every time I had to dip my head beneath the water to reach another one. Gasping as the icy water shocked my chest I had to dip again and again to try to reach the coins, perspective skewed by the shimmering surface and the lack of light. Was the water dangerous?

There was definitely danger here now though.

Startling bright lights flickered on from both somewhere and everywhere and voices, shouting voices, from the distance commanded us to 'Stay where you are and place your hands over your heads'. We did not stop to think and we certainly did not raise our hands but we all made for the doors splashing and screaming 'Fucking run!'

Turning into the large room we tried to move with speed around the rim of the partly excavated pool, my heart thumped with fear of both falling and of being caught. I made it about three quarters of the way round when Dean who was at the front screamed 'Fuck - I forgot Ally!'
'I ain't going back' shouted Merlin. 'Keep fucking moving, fuck the dog. You're not getting past me man'

The only way back for Dean was through the water if we didn't move.

The brackish foul water.

The water that killed girls.

'Fucking move!' Screamed Merlin pushing against him, desperate not to be arrested. Dean was spitting fury now 'You fucking move. I want my dog.'
Rats shouted something but the words were lost in the panic. I looked back to see him disappear through the door.

'He's gone back for Ally. For your fucking dog! Now move Dean. Please?'

'Fuck' Dean shuffled forwards 'He better get her.' We were through this area in seconds now. Merlin remembered at the last moment to flick off the light switch to make it harder for us to be followed and in the hope that the police would meet their fate at the bottom of the murky deep. We now ran by the light of the torch, trying desperately to keep our footing on the uneven floor of the tunnels.

Stumbling. Breathing hard.

We ran until our feet hit the soft padding of the abandoned sleeping bags and the street lights touched our skin. 'Blackum!' I shouted. But there was nothing. Just silence. 'Blackum' I tried again. Merlin motioned for silence and we listened back down the tunnel to see if evidence of the cops following would echo to our ears. Still silence. From above and behind.
'This way' whispered Merlin, continuing down the tunnel into the unknown and down the more modern passage. Another door, this time cut from a wooden boarding, took us into a dusty vastness that smelt of cement and wood. Merlin flashed the torch, looking for a way forward. 'This is the new shopping centre. Come on.' The new centre was a building site still. We entered through the basement and quickly found our way up to the street level by a newly installed escalator. Only the builders boards separated us from escape into the real world now. Dean motioned towards a pile of wood, stacked ready for use and we all scrambled to climb it and jump to freedom.

The three of us collapsed against the street side of the boards grazed and bruised. Two of us fucking freezing and soaking wet and all of us tired but on a total high. It seemed that we started laughing in unison. Manic, hysterical laughter. And when we eventually stopped and Merlin said...

'Can you believe that ratty fucking vegan risked getting himself nicked for someone else's dog?' We laughed some more and then some.
'I don't know about you two, but I ain't ever going back down there again.' said Dean. And even though I was desperate for a roof over my head and a pool of endless tourist money - I had to concur.

We had collected enough money to buy three MacDonald's Apple Pies and a packet of ten cigarettes. A feast! The crazy vegan was released from police custody the following day charged with 'Breaking and Entering' and 'Resisting Arrest' and Ally spent the night in the police station too. It would not be Ally's last night in a police kennel that's for sure and it would certainly not be Rats.

Still homeless but a little less hungry our minds turned back to the festival at Stonehenge. We had twenty four hours left to go.

Continued...
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The Roman Bath at Bath Spa that we discovered that night, you can see the money twinkling in the water! A beautiful sight for the hungry indeed!


The Roman Baths Museum of Bath Spa (link)

Conspiracy me blue......

'We should get out of the car' The voice was mine but sounded different.

I was more frightened than I had let on. It hit me suddenly. Cold, white fear that drained my colour and left me still. Ian just shook his head and stared out of the broken window.

'I've got to tell you something. It's about your Dad'. Said Ian. He looked sort of weird with his bashed up and bloodied face. Weird, like a film star. 'Gypsy is fucking with your head Claire.' I looked out of the window too now. It seemed better that way. 'You've got to stop listening to her bullshit. The truth is that your Dad turned up here looking for you just after you first visited us, that's how Gypsy knows all about you, your Dad told her. There is no fucking big underlying secret to this world. Just one sad lonely woman that wants attention from a sad and lonely girl.'

'How much of what she said is the truth?' I felt sick now. Could be the accident. Could be his words.

'She sells good speed I'll give her that.' A bubble of blood burst from his nose as he spoke and he wiped it clear with the back of his hand. 'And she was clever enough to figure out that the place where we squatted in Longwell Green, was just around the corner from the address that your Dad gave her. All the rest is fucking lies. Lies or coincidence. Nothing more.'

'What will I do?' I sobbed. Broken like the car.

'Fuck. If you have to ask me then you are fucked. Why don't you just get the fuck out of here. Don't look back. Find yourself a nice man, get married, have a couple of kids.'

Get married and have a couple of kids?

Now there's a thought.

Evening

John was in the back of the Boater Pub and he smiled with his mouth and his eyes when he saw me. We shared an evening of drink and conversation and I thought of Sarah's words.

'He's the key to the fucking door.'

I had assumed that I would go to John's house that night, but John had said that I couldn't. His parents did not approve of him bringing home 'girls'. I felt like crying but I didn't. I could not go back to the bender site though. I knew that much for sure. John could see that I was upset but I don't think that he really understood to what degree I was 'homeless'. To some people, to those who are loved and to those that love - it is incomprehensible that you have nowhere left to turn. I was relieved when towards the end of the night he muttered,

'Pete will take you home. Won't you Pete?' Maybe he did know?

Pete was sat across the table from us. He was not someone that I had noticed much before, but all of a sudden he seemed important.

'What am I supposed to do with her?' Laughed Pete.

'Let her sleep and keep her safe.' Said John.

'Let me sleep and keep me safe.' I smiled, but I expected less. Not for the first time in my life I questioned what price a bed? We all walked together through the streets of Bath to a new part of town, to Pete's place. John and I held hands and stared at each other like long lost lovers. All three of us went up to Pete's tiny bedroom then John tucked me in to Pete's tiny bed and kissed me Goodnight.

'Thanks Pete.' He said earnestly - then he just left us there. The bed was only a single so it was a real squeeze fitting myself and Pete in.

How was I still clean come morning? Pete woke me with a smile and a coffee.

Why?

When John came back to get me, I smiled at him with my mouth and my eyes. He had been true to his word and found me a safe place to sleep. We smoked cigarettes on the doorstep in the hour before he was due at college. Promises were made and goals were set. 'Hang in there.'he had said 'My parents leave for America in eight days. As soon as they have gone, you can stay with me.'

It sounded perfect.

Perhaps a little too good to be true but I still had some innocence, some trust left and the alternatives were unspeakable.

A new extended family surrounded me. John's many friends gave me floorspace, bed space, food and never questioned why John asked this of them. I am sure that more than one of them wondered why this man would waste his time on one so lost, but still they helped.

Eight days soon passed.

It took just one foot on the Victorian floor tiles for me to feel the comfort of that house. I adored it. Full of antiques and wonderful art, a kitchen packed with vegetarian food and homely copper pots and a massive garden with hidden nooks and seating to retreat to. The house was spread over four stories. It was a home. The ground floor contained a large formal living room and a huge kitchen. The first floor a large family room, the next two bedrooms and a bathroom and the top floor offered two more bedrooms. The people that lived here were spirited and independent. Their choice in decor told me this. I liked his family already and I had never even had the opportunity to meet them.

That first night we feasted on vegetarian sausage sandwiches and sat in the garden drinking good red wine and kissing. It felt so fucking perfect that it almost broke my heart. I remember those days in that house with such passion still. Snuggling on the sofa with John watching TV. Cooking. Sleeping. Fucking.

Listening to music in his bedroom, I would play Pink Floyd's 'The Wall', side 3, over and over again. I would twist his red and blond dreadlocks through my fingers and marvel at the perfect whiteness of his pale and freckled skin. I would laugh with him and I would lie with him. He was my Adonis and he gave me sanctuary, physically and emotionally. Bit's of the old me retained though. My attitude to sex was tainted with a view that I owed him much. I can see now how he must have hated that, but I had so little left to give that wasn't in the bedroom. Weeks came and went.

Some days the cracks would show.

'Where the fuck have you been?' I shouted angrily at his back as he headed up the stairs to his room. 'I'm talking to you. What? Do you think that I will hide away at home like your little fucking wifey, cooking dinner and waiting for you to come home every night?' I was fuming. Worse than that, I was frightened again. Where had he been?

He turned to face me with a weariness that I would come to know. 'I've just been out for a drink with Pete. I told you I might go out after work. I said that you could come, but no, you chose to stay in yet again.'

'Who are you fucking?' I screamed. That's what it came down to. Everything always came back to fucking.

He fell back onto the bed and threw his hands up to his face.

'Bloody hell Claire. What more do you want from me? When will you trust me?'

'You want to change me.'

'I don't want to change you. I just want you to get better and to...to shut up. Stop nagging me. Stop hating me. I'm not ready for any of this crap.' He threw the pillow at me. 'You fucking sleep here. I'll sleep upstairs.'

Silence.

That silence burned me. I was petrified alone in his room. It felt like I could no longer breathe at night if someone wasn't there to hold me. I flicked on the light and sat on the edge of the bed holding his bandanna in my hands, tears streaming down my face. Standing up I padded barefoot over to the mirror. Once again I didn't recognize the girl in there. She changed so rapidly that I was helpless to keep up with her. Looking around me, I saw one of John's old T-shirts on the bedroom floor. I pulled it on then glanced once more at my tear streaked face. He could not leave me. It just wasn't possible. I crept up the flight of stairs and opened the door to the bedroom.

'What?' He had started to hate me. I could hear it in his voice now.

I knelt on the edge of the bed, bit my bottom lip and raised my eyebrows. 'What do you think?'

'Just go back downstairs and sleep Claire.'

I swung a leg either side of him and poised on all fours above him. 'But I want to sleep with you.'

'Sleep downstairs Claire.' He said wearily. But his eyes smiled. This was not over as long as his eyes still smiled. I kissed him lots, up and down his chest. Down further, licked my way back into his bed. Momentarily, he almost let his moral standing prevent himself from saying yes.

Life was a little colder after that night.

Some days later I was in the kitchen, thinking of nothing much in particular and stirring a pot of pasta sauce, when two words highlighted on the calender for the weekend screamed out at me.

PARENTS BACK

And that was that. On Friday, no amount of sex was going to stop him asking me to leave. I knew that. I was shaking so much with fear that I had to sit down. I pulled myself to the kitchen table and collapsed in a heap of pain. I could not bear for him to leave me. I could not bear for him to stay with me but not let me live here. Where would I go? I had no money. The 'Me' that didn't live in this house was dirty and damaged. She was broken and limp. She could not sustain a relationship with a decent man. An Adonis.

Some people do terrible things. Some people live their lives scared and let that define their actions.

Later that day I headed into Bath Town Center for the first time in what seemed an eternity. I drank beer and cider with Dean, Tabbitha and Blackum. I drank so much that I forgot to care when John came to find me and tried to take me home.

'Not now.' I had barked. And as quick as he had come into my life he was gone. I will always thank him for those days though.

'You can always come to Stonehenge with us.' Said Dean.

'What's at Stonehenge?' I asked.

'Everything and everybody!' Laughed Dean. An adventure indeed.


Looking back, what strikes me as most strange about the story of John and me and my stay with him - is that he that would change the path of my life more than any other person ever would. It would not happen yet. Not for several weeks, when a chance meeting at the Bus Station would find him uttering these simple words...

'Fancy coming to a gig in London?'

And things would never be the same again.

Continued...